Education is well respected and valued throughout Asia. Most Asian parents will devote most of their resources and support to it, especially for an eldest son. Well, my family wasn’t one of those. Although my dad was an avid reader, I don’t ever recall him putting any effort into educating me. He did encourage me to read, though.
Dad especially liked reading books about animals and fantastic stories. This was very evident when we’d visit the zoo. I loved these trips as well. Because I adored the lions and tigers, he even told me I might grow up to be a learned scientist and give lectures about animal life. (I was a bit of a hellion and, I have to admit, already knowing what a big dummy I was, I found this idea ludicrous.) Eventually, I spent less and less time at the zoo, angry at my dad for not bringing a baby tiger home. I’d constantly nag him to put his stupid cowardly hand into the animal pen and steal me a tiger cub! Ugh, I was such a difficult little cunt back then.
Years later, I worked at Seattle’s Taboo Video Store, selling adult products and services. I used to have a customer who’d show up very late at night, a few times a year, looking for “exotic movies”. After getting to know him and making him laugh with my dark, irrelevant and troubling stories, it was revealed he had an extensive library of bestiality films. From then on, I called him “Mr. BeastMasturbator” behind his back. This guy was the original Joe Exotic! A few times, he’d ask me if I wanted to see some stuff from his collection, and the answer was overwhelmingly YES!
Since bestiality movies were a big no-no, we’d watch tapes on the store’s TV/VCR when there were no other customers. He knew so much about “exotic movies,” and I had so many questions about them! He knew the names of the dogs as well as the girls who fucked them. (So weird that the horses didn’t have any names…) Anyhow, after I quit working at Taboo Video, I never saw him again.
Fast-forward five years later. I was helping my friend Joe Gallant, one of the few remaining porn directors shooting in NYC. He was doing one of those Adult Continuation classes, literally teaching Porn 101, and I ended up being Joe’s guest lecturer one evening. I spoke about my experiences in the adult business, working for Evil Angel (one of the premier hardcore porn companies) and my duties there. After the lecture, there was an impromptu Q&A. The topic of taboo material came up, and one of the attendees asked about bestiality films.
At that particular time, those films were legal only in two cities: Portland, OR and New York City. I had fun giving old impressions about the subject, like remembering my surprise that so many of those movies had an anti-catholic theme. For example, many bestiality actresses would be dressed in nuns’ habits, getting nailed doggystyle by eager dogs wearing fake devil horns. It was amazing how much I recalled from Mr. BeastMasturbator’s archives. The knowledge flew out of my filthy mouth.
I realized many students were taking notes on the Intro to Bestiality portion of my presentation. And then it hit me. After all those years, my dead father had been right — here I was, delivering a lecture about animals. I paused momentarily, like an esoteric scholar, then lifted my eyes to the sky, raising my fist: “We did it, daddy! We’ve made it!!!”
